Domestic violence affects men, women and children of all ages and socioeconomic levels. Victims need to be aware of their rights and seek help immediately.
A woman is battered in the United States every fifteen seconds. Some of them lose their lives at the hands of murder or suicide. When a person is battered, they are controlled by fear, either through psychological or verbal abuse, physical or sexual abuse, or threats and intimidation.
Portrait of the Abused and the Abusers
Wives, girlfriends, children, and occasionally husbands or boyfriends are all victims of domestic violence. They often suffer from low self-esteem and self-confidence.
Both the abused and the abuser are not confined to any set personality or economic type. They range from the wealthy to the poor, the black to the white, and the successful to the unhappy.
Why Do People Stay In Abusive Relationships?
Many victims do leave, but are stalked or harassed by their ex-spouse and fear for their lives or the lives of their children. It may also be difficult to strike out in a society where it can be hard to survive on one income. Some of these victims do not have specific work skills and suffer from low self-confidence.
In many cases, the spouse promises to change and never do harm again. Also, many victims are conditioned to think that they deserved the abuse and to accept it as normal. Most of them do love their spouses on some level.
Risks of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence can lead to immediate injury, difficult pregnancies, post-traumatic stress disorder, lifelong disabilities or health problems, alcohol or drug abuse, depression and death. Children who are the victims or the witnesses of domestic violence often repeat those same crimes in their adult households, or go to prison for committing a crime against the abuser. These children also contend with psychological scars that last a lifetime.
Domestic violence also financially affects this country in terms of rising medical costs, police support, court fees, shelters, and the social service system.
Tips for Battered Men, Women and Children
Create a safety plan. Choose an escape route. Pack and hide a kit that includes spare money, clothes, keys, birth certificates, checkbook, and any other legal documents. If possible, try to start a separate savings account.
Contact a shelter to see if they can house the family, at least temporarily. Even those who are not victims of domestic violence can offer their volunteer support to keep these places running. Shelters also need donations of clothing, money, food, toys and more.
Ask for information on domestic violence from the police department, family courts or local hospitals. Reading about these crimes might make it more real, and victims may gain the courage to report what is happening.
At the Feminist web page, there is a list of state offices and Internet resources for battered women.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for assistance from trained counselors 24 hours a day at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Find out what laws are being written about domestic violence. Contact the President or other elected officials to make your voice heard.
No one should be afraid to report a case of domestic violence. It is everyone’s business when someone is being abused. Neighbors, teachers, doctors, and clergy all need to be aware and report suspicious activities. If someone confides that they are being abused, listen with a supportive, non-judgmental ear. Never be afraid to contact the appropriate authorities – lives can be saved.
The copyright of the article How to Stop Domestic Violence in Abuse is owned by Abby Deliz. Permission to republish How to Stop Domestic Violence in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
I am a 56 year old woman who just ended a six month relationship. At first
Gary was sooooooooooo charming, generous and "too good to be
true". The first sign of abuse was when he called me a
"bitch"...I was a bit shocked but after talking with other
woman...I chalked it up to I was "overreacting". Then after
awhile came the onslaught of other degrading names...bitch, slut, whore and
so on. He was always quick to apologize & so the "cycle"
continued. He was always there to help out, made wonderful dinners, was
generous with gifts, flowers, etc. I was hooked.....eventhough from the
beginning he was jealous, controlling & always thought very highly of
himself...too highly...it was obvious to me he was a bit insecure & had
to toot his own horn. I grew up in a very emotionally, verbal &
phsyically abusive home. I've done work on myself to get over it..but I
still attract abusers {guess my work in not finished} I told Gary that if
he ever laid a hand on me that was it. He would never see me again! I
guess I meant it...because the other night when we ran into my ex-boyfriend
& I was "happy" to see him...Gary was very threatened. He
told me I was not supposed to be happy to see an ex..... and the entourage
of belittling names occurred once again....only this time it escalated even
further...we were in his car and not only was he raging...he punched me in
the side as he was driving...I'm grateful for that punch as it opened my
eyes to the reality of the abuse. I am still shocked...avoided his
phonecalls..after the tenth one...finally called him back & told him
the only way I would see him is if he would get "help"...we both
need help...it can't be onesided. He refused...because it's all "my
fault" {very typical response of an abuser" So here I am hoping
to reach out to at least one person....if you can relate to this
story...get out while you can...abusers are like time-bombs ready to go
off. We all deserve more...love is not supposed to hurt.
Mar 16, 2009 2:22 AM
Guest :
I can very much relate to the story give by the Guest on 18th Jan, 2009.
However I'm not so fortunate to realize it in a short time and put an end
to it. I met my husband over 10 years ago and 6 months after we met he used
the F word on me. I was very, very upset as i was not accustomed to such
words being brought up in a very loving home. So I asked him to never say
such a word again. However as time passed and more arguments occurred, he
used to call me Bitch and a few other abusive words. After a while I got
used to this and ended up marrying him 7+ years after meeting him. Marriage
only aggravated the abuse from him and it escalated to physical abuse.
Though the physical abuse was not bad, I have realized that it could only
get worse... so 3 years after marriage and with a baby daughter I finally
decided to leave him. I hope this is a clear message to everyone out there
who is facing abuse to leave the relationship... it never gets better.
Sep 28, 2009 9:06 PM
Guest :
Men can be victims too. My brother is in an abusive relationship and it is
very difficult to watch him go through it. I'm not sure what to do to help
him. I fear for his safety but I don't know what else to do. I have asked
him to seek professional help for himself as well as his wife because she
is also mentally ill. I told him to have a plan in place also. When she
gets angry she is very destructive as well as verbally and physically
abusive. My brother has hidden this from the family for a long time and he
has come forward with it recently.
