PAS : Parental Alienation Syndrome

Parental alienation syndrome is not new. Fortunately for this thirteen year old boy, the Ontario Superior Court issued an order stating the boy must have professional intervention in order to reverse the brainwashing. The mother’s lawyer stated that this is precedent setting in Canada.

In May 2006, the state of Maine recognized that parental alienation syndrome is a serious issue. Governor John E. Baldacci signed a proclamation recognizing April 25 as “Parental Alienation Awareness Day.”

What is PAS?

Parental alienation syndrome is a disorder that arises mostly in the context of child custody disputes. One parent in a perverse effort to gain control will programme or “brainwash” his child into believing that the other parent is a very bad person. The alienation generally extends to the non-custodial parent’s family as well. This was first identified in 1985 by psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner.

Divorce and custody litigation can be a nightmare. Unfortunately children undergo thought reform or mild brainwashing during this process. No matter how hard some couples try, criticisms of each other come out and children are highly perceptive. Sadly, PAS is much more serious than an occasional insult. It involves a systematic vilification by one parent of the other parent, brainwashing the child with the sole purpose to alienate the child from the other parent.

How Serious Is PAS?

An example of how horrendous parental alienation syndrome can get was reported by ABC13 Eyewitness News in Houston, Texas on December 29, 2004. A ten year old boy was accused of murdering his father. Rick James Lohstroh was fatally shot in the summer of 2004 by his son who was a victim of parental alienation syndrome.

Embittered divorces can and do manipulate a child’s mind. Mothers are usually awarded custody of the children and father’s rights are obscured. According to L.F. Lowenstein Ma, Dip. Psych., PhD, he says 75% of the time women are committing this form of child abuse. The biggest losers in this psychological battle are the children.

If You Are an Alienated Parent

Parents dealing with being alienated are often frustrated, angered, hurt and feel powerless. If you are an alienated parent there are some important things to remember.

• Never give up on your children.
• Keep anger and hurt feelings under control. Losing control fuels the alienating parent and empowers him or her further.
• Never retaliate.
• Don’t stop going to pick up your children when it is your time. Always keep showing up unless court ordered otherwise.
• Never display hostility toward your ex in your children’s company. This will only make matters much worse.
• Keep a diary of everything! Logging everything may eventually be your saviour.
• Maintain a positive relationship with your child. Never ask your child for information about what goes on when he or she is with your ex.
• Don’t violate court orders.
• Don’t wait to intervene when problems start. Many times alienation problems deepen when you or your ex enters into a new relationship. If there is a problem contact your attorney or seek out various websites to get help.
• If your ex makes a false allegation of abuse against you, no matter how difficult it will be, always cooperate with authorities.
• If you have an attorney, get research to help your case and ask that your counsel seek court ordered support for family therapy and deprogramming.

If you are a victim of PAS be sure to develop a good support network of family and friends who can help you get through what may be a very long and rocky road. Seek legal and professional help if your finances permit it. Above all else, be sure to educate yourself. There are many credible websites that provide information and help on parental alienation syndrome.

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