Survivors often stay with their attackers for a variety of reasons. Despite the emotional toll that abuse takes on them, some stay because they "love" their abusers.

At the hands of their abusers, victims of domestic abuse often suffer from a condition known as Battered Woman Syndrome, sometimes referred to as the Victim Syndrome. Many survivors stay with their abusers because they do not know any better way of life. Often they stay because of "love," necessity, children, fear, low self esteem, and because the abuser has conditioned them to stay through the use of these factors.

"Love"

Sometimes in long term relationships, the abusers have had plenty of time to "work" on their victims and the victims come to believe that they "need" their abusers for many of life's daily necessities. Over the long term, the abusers have conditioned the victims to stay with him or her. However, many victims mistake this "need" for the belief that they 'love' the abusers. See Domestic Violence Dynamics for more on this.

Conditioning

The abusers' repetitive treatment is how they "condition" their victims over a long period of time, to stay with them. They make the victim believe that there is absolutely no way that they can leave the relationship because they'll be killed. The abusers often tell the victims that they cannot make it on their own, that they "need" the abusers, and that they are not worthy of anyone else's love and attention.

Necessity (financial)

Many times, the abusers tactics include limiting the victims' access to things that may lead to their independence, such as a job. Often, the victims have not gained many usable skills or very much education since the start of the relationship.

At this junction, it should be noted that prior to their relationships with the abusers, many victims have been highly educated, but they are often very immature emotionally. Emotional maturity and intellect are completely independent of one another. Therefore, many victims are unable to use what skills and knowledge they do have to better their lives. This is a contributing factor that leads to their dependence on the abusers.

Children

In many cases survivors do not want to raise their children alone. Merely having children brings about fear that no one else will want them; they are not worthy of anyone else's love and affection. This is due to the the victims' emotional immaturity and low self esteem, coupled with the abusers' repetitive reenforcement of the issue. Also see Effects of Domestic Violence.

The abusers have often been convinced by the abuser that the children having their father with them (whether he is worthy of the title or not) is better than not having a father.

Fear

Common traits of abusers are intimidation and threats. Victims often fear their abusers due to "conditioning" by the abusers. This fear is brought on by repetitive physical and/or verbal abuse. Many times abusers will threaten to kill the victims and/or their children if they attempt to leave the abuser.

Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem is part of the victims' "conditioning." It can be brought on by a variety of the abuser's systematic abuse techniques, including physical abuse, demeaning the victim by calling them derogatory names, telling them they are unattractive, lazy, and worthless. Also, the abuser ingrains into the victims' minds that even though the victims possess these traits, the abuser still "loves" them, although no one else would.

Related articles:

The Problem of Domestic Violence: Defining Abuse and the Types of Relationships Involved

Sources:

A first hand survivor's account of her own experiences. (Her name will not be revealed to protect her identity.)