Abuse

» susieplum - childhood abuse

I was abused by my step father from the age of 6 untill about 13, i think i have come to terms with it, i have been to court and he has been charged and sentenced.
I am now nearly 30 but sometimes i still have things that come into my mind and i dont know how to handle them, i am also pregnant now with my first baby to a kind and loving man, i just dont know how i will feel with a baby of my own.
I have very low self esteem, and dont want to pass any of this negative feeling on to my baby.
Do you think things will work out okay

-- posted by susieplum

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» jkat123 - childhood abuse

In response to childhood abuse posted by susieplum:

hi,firstly you have a major event happening in youre life right now,youre 1st baby.that alone provokes so many different emotions(even for someone who has no issues!)we all fear we wont cope with our 1st child,panick we are not ready for such responsibility etc,and of course there is the matter of those hormones.they alone will have you up@down,its good you say you have a kind@loving man,does he know of the abuse?are you able to trust@talk honestly with him,im sure if he was aware of youre feelings/fears he would reassure you.the fact you have memories come to mind that you dont know how to deal with makes me wonder if you are recieving any councelling?if not,perhaps it would do no harm to arrange some?try to remember that you are a SURVIVOR,perhaps an inspiration to others in the same boat,you had the courage to go to court@charge youre step-father,now that was very brave indeed.its normal to have low self-esteem in pregnancy@no,you wont pass this on to youre baby.try to tell yourself each day how brave you were,that you survived youre ordeal,that youre abuser did not beat you,you won,you have a loving partner,a beautifull baby coming@a wonderfull life ahead you,i hope this helps you@everything goes well for you from here in because you deserve this.jkatxxx

-- posted by jkat123

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» jfarris - childhood abuse

Very nice and kind words jkat and you are so right. The bottomline is that you have to look at this in a way that helps you live with it. I had the same problems, and still do from time to time, of questioning myself. You should consider this, you will probebly be the most protective and loving parent ever. Most parents have no concept of what can happen to their child, you now do and for that you will be a better parent and your child will be better protected.

-- posted by jfarris

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» Silkenfire - childhood abuse

In response to childhood abuse posted by jfarris:

I hope that by reading your own words, you can see that you have not only recognized the elephant in your living room but moved him over to where he belongs. Getting healthy after having your most sacred trust defiled during a critical time of growth in your life... is a process. There is no quick fix. When you come to peace with that fact, you will be okay with knowing that every day of your life will be one step closer to wellness. Each time you are there for your child in the ways that you know you must be, your self-esteem will grow. The unconditional love your baby has for you will also enhance your self-esteem. You are no longer a vulnerable helpless child... You are about to become someone a lil person NEEDS to depend on and you need your "adult" self to step forward and manage those bad feelings when they happen.. and they will happen... but each time you recognize them and you win, you are gaining in strength and trust. If you want to be a good Mom, you will be.. Be strong... Silken

-- posted by Silkenfire

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