Abuse

» rad7912 - abuse?

I need your input please. I am engaged to a man I have known for 1 year. He is intelligent, can be generous, successful or was before an auto accident left him disabled with a closed head injury post 20 years, and soft hearted. (especially when it comes to his own heart it seems) He is slow to anger and is never violent. The problem is this. He uses his closed head injury to get his own way and his own needs met.

Almost as soon as we met, he coaxed me away from my home and I have only been back for one over night since. He will not come there because he cannot tolerate the small rooms, the boredom, the cats etc... but he acts like he is being abandoned when I want to go there. His voice gets soft and dejected sounding, he gets so lonely, feels abandoned, needs me etc....
he is also very verile and has to have sex every day regardless of how I feel. He says that I can manage and I feel trapped into it. He stays up at night and sleeps until noon or so. That is when I have time to myself. Once he is awake, I am tied up with whatever he wants to do. Sometimes that includes doing something really nice together. The problem is that I am diabetic and don't have the energy level he has and he doesn't understand that. What I want to know is this: He has been diagnosed with narcisistic tendencies. He is always kind and gentle, but always gets his way with me. I didn't believe the narcisistic label because he is so unlike my brother(npd) who can desimate you with one look, and often does. Am I missing the red flags here?

I was in an unhappy marriage for 25 years when my husband died suddenly. I love this man, but I feel more like a caregiver, especially in the bedroom than his partner.
Please enlighten me.

Thank you,
rad7912

-- posted by rad7912