Abuse

» janeyip - leaving mum

I came from an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive family. Both my parents were abusive in their own ways. Although I left home 20 years ago, I still struggle with issues of self confidence and trust of others. I have done very well academically obtaining the highest qualification, function well in my job and have a rosy future. However I still feel enourmous pain inside. Recently I decided to stop talking to my mother because she still tries to control me and have tried for decades to break up my bond with my brother- with some success lately. I would like to come to a place of peace and wipe the slate clean to start all over again. None of my friends understand my predicament because I look successful on the outside and hide my feelings well. I feel very alone. Any ideas?

-- posted by janeyip

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds

» APH - leaving mum

In response to leaving mum posted by janeyip:

Dear Jane,

I am not a professional, however I have had my own experience with abuse and healing. I would suggest that you find a professional practitioner - some form of therapist - who you feel comfortable with and begin to talk these issues through with someone. I believe this is important because we need to acknowledge and communicate our pain and experience with another in order for healing to begin. That other must be caring and able to listen and give constructive feedback where necessary. So, if you do not have friends who have these skills and understanding (and most people do not, whether they have experienced abuse or not), then I would suggest finding appropriate professional help - which may take a bit of effort because it is important to find the right person - someone you are comfortable with and who can facilitate healing.

I am not quite sure from what you said whether you want to be in contact with your brother or not. If you do, and have a good relationship with him, then talking with him about these issues may also be helpful to get his opinions and support, which may help you to feel less alone. Beyond this, I reiterate what I said previously. It is important that you make a definite decision to deal with your pain and to take the necessary steps to heal yourself and be free.

Sincerely,

Anthony

-- posted by APH

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds

» lonelyinside - leaving mum

In response to leaving mum posted by janeyip:

I can relate,and i have started seeing a therapist...helps some but she costs alot.
but i barely speak to my mother and don't my father but he was not the abuser he just left and did not care.
i have noticed when i do see my mother it seems my body repsonds i get real sick and can't think or funtion right.
its easy for people to say let go and learn to trust and have self esteem just wish it could be taught i am willing to learn.

-- posted by lonelyinside

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds

» conehead777 - leaving mum

In response to leaving mum posted by janeyip:
I am so sorry to hear about the abuse you endured growing up. Do you know of any support groups in your area - like a Boundaries group, a sexual or physical abuse support group, a Theotherapy group?

-- posted by conehead777

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds

» helen120 - leaving mum

In response to leaving mum posted by janeyip:

Hi, I discovered your message while searching on the internet for recovering from emotional abuse....your message hit home with me. I have a similar situation to yours. Very similar, except I was spared by my brother's passing away, so now I just feel guilty. But I was looking online because I've just escaped an abusive relationship. If you want to just vent, I'll be there to listen. Counselling didn't seem to work for me and I'm still holding it together but it's nice to know I'm not alone. email to chiilypepper70@hotmail.com if you wish. thanx for posting
h

-- posted by helen120

Permalink Print Discussion Email Discussion How to subscribe to feeds