Abuse

» Fantasia78 - Fantasia,

In response to Fantasia, posted by mandy38:

I don't know why I keep making excusses for him but your right. Everyone makes a decision as to how they will react in a situation. I know that I have to draw a line, and if crossed make the consequences serious, but so far, I have not been very diligent. I have no problems diciplining my horses when they step out of line, and they are big and strong, he's just so good at reasoning and arguing. Thank you for the support, it's much appreciated, I guess I just needed to hear from an outside source that is isn't me. I hope things are well with you.

-- posted by Fantasia78

» mandy38 - Fantasia-

Fantasia-
I think you have known this all along, everybody does. I too, made excuse after excuse and it only makes you an enabler. It only keeps YOU right where HE wants you. Hey, I have even gone so far as to put all the fighting and abuse on the back burner because the sex was so good. Not anymore. I keep telling myself EVERY DAY...I deserve to be treated better and SO DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate the thought of being on my own but, I am really alone now. So, whats the difference???????
Hugs-
Many38

-- posted by mandy38

» Fantasia78 - Many38

In response to Fantasia- posted by mandy38:

I went to the therapists today, and I think it will be very helpfull. It's scary, but it is the first step to change, but it's also exciting. How are you doing, most of these e-mails have focused on my problems. I know you're scared at the moment, but have you planned how and when you are going to leave?

-- posted by Fantasia78

» mandy38 - I AM DOING JUST FINE.

I AM DOING JUST FINE. HAD A TALK WITH HIM THE OTHER NIGHT AND THAT WENT PRETTY WELL. STILL ONE SIDED THOUGHT. I HAVE A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT SITUATION THAN YOU THOUGH. I HAVE TWO KIDS THAT LIVE IN THIS HELL. THEY ARE MY MAIN CONCERN. I'M FINE AND YOU KEEP GOING TO YOUR THERAPIST. THAT WILL HELP YOU TREMENDOUSLY. YOU'LL SEE. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

HUGS-
MANDY38

-- posted by mandy38

» madison87 - hello girls

Reading what you both have written sends chills through me! I too have been in an abusive relationship. He was verbally abusive and VERY controlling. We were married for 10 years and have 3 sons together. It has been 15 months since I moved out. The divorce got pretty ugly and he is still trying to control me. I wish I had known then what I know now. I am here if you want any advie, suggestions or lessons learned.

-- posted by madison87

» Fantasia78 - hello girls

In response to hello girls posted by madison87:

Hi Madison, thank you for your support, I'm always up for lessons learned. I am cultivating the courage to confront my boyfriend with how I've been feeling, and what he's done to hurt me to see how he reacts. I am very internal with my feelings, so to be fair, I'll let him know how things have effected me and see what he does. I would be curious to know what your lessons learned are, or suggestions, thank you for the offer.

-- posted by Fantasia78

» hawkgazer - My thoughts are with you

In response to Nasty fights posted by Fantasia78:

Hello, ladies. I just got chills, too, reading through your posts from the past few weeks. Well, closer to sick to my stomach - you have described so many things familiar to me and my own experiences. I would also like to say that I am here for support if you need it - feel free to email me. Especially when there are children involved, it can be so incredibly hard to get out and stay out. I want you to know, it is NOT all in your head, you DON'T deserve to be treated this way, and you CAN make a change if you choose to.
I'll be thinking of you both!
-Lura

-- posted by hawkgazer

» mandy38 - Fantasia-

Fantasia-
I did it!!!! I moved out last Sunday. Horrible episode. Smacked me in the head with a throw pillow about 3 times and then threw his cereal on me when I was walking away from him. I called my sister and said, "Come and help me get the hell out of here"
I have moved into the cutest little place with my boys. We are all breathing alot better now. Of course someone is totally kissing up to me right now.
Had to have Sherriff escort when I came to get my things. Wasn't pretty. But I'm out.
NO MORE CONTROL, NO MORE LISTENING TO THE RAGE, NO MORE JEALOUSY, ....
FEELS GOOD.

Mandy38

-- posted by mandy38

» Fantasia78 - Fantasia-

In response to Fantasia- posted by mandy38:

CONGRADULATIONS!!! That's great news. I'm so happy for you. Figures once you leave he's nice to you. Therapy is helping, I'm going to write him a letter and see how he responds. Then at least I could say I tried if I break it off. Here's to a better future.

-- posted by Fantasia78

» mandy38 - Fantasia-

Fantasia-
Just remember what I said to you. Nobody controls you, only if you let them. This has been bittersweet for me. Do I love him...yes. I probably always will but, he needs help for his anger, drug use and all the rest. I expressed to him, this is not the way two people that love each other are suppose to act. I signed a 12 month lease at my new place and I feel like he has 12 months to do ALOT of proving to me. He needs to work a program or get into re-hab and needs alot of counseling. We'll see. He has been doing ALOT of butt kissing but I feel like he owes that to me.
Be strong and never tell him something you don't intend on following through on. If you tell your man you are doing this if he crosses your line...YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH.
Hugs-
Mandy38

-- posted by mandy38