Abuse

» Fantasia78 - Nasty fights

I always thought that there was was something unhealthy about our fighting, but I always felt it was my fault we were fighting, or that every couple has something that isn't so good. I'm having trouble arrranging in my mind exactly how to explain stuff but here goes. I have been dating my bf for 8 years. We were friends first, and got together shortly afterwards. When we fight, it is usually about me lying, but i always feel pushed into them, and then once confessed, traped. The most current are around wearing a bikini. I lost weight, adn could finally wear them. I bought a nice one, and wore it for my bf. He made comments about how reveling it is, but I said I'm not interested in other men, but I"m wearing it for him and myself. Well I could wear it for a bit, but then he got upset about it, and long story short, it turned into I wore them to get mail attention, which is a form of cheating, and I lied about my intensions of wearing it. I got many insults, told I am really to fat where one anyways, here is an exerpt And by the way, you do look good in a bikini, but before you get too overconfident, here is a little reality check for you: you barely look good in a bikini, and you are not exactly thin, yet, sexual looking yes, but thin and bikini-worthy? Barely. Sorry to be so blunt, but you seem to think you are the shit, just letting you know that you are not that good, maybe to me, but not generally speaking. I have a gut and a double-chin, and you have gone from fatty to chubby. I wonder how you will treat me if and when you actually get thin....

I have been constantly accused of cheating with a former male friend. While I did rely on him emotionally becuase I was very lonely, which was wrong, I never had physical relations with him. He has persisted with this for years, and then after a particularly nasty fight, where I was kept up all night, I had to drive to work, got into a car accident, and went home. After calling him to tell him what happened, he seemed to care, but then went into pressuring me to admite sex. I was so weak in that state that I confessed even though it wasn't true, thinking it would make him go away.

I've admitted to things I haven't done because in arguments he's so good with logic and argueing that it's the only logical solution to the way things are presented, and because when I confess, things get worse, but then better quicker then if I hold out. I am contantly accused on lying, and in arguments get past confessions thrown in my face. His insluts aren't vulgare, but hurt just as much, like showing your tit's and c**nt to the world with such reveling bikini, lier, intelligent but not that intelligent, beutiful to me but, ect. Things can go great for months or years, but then when the fight comes, I always feel really hurt, and he knows, he always says sorry afterwards for the way he behaved, and that he has more integrity, and he won't get to that stage next time. I just can't seem to have a normal argument.

I'm sorry this is so scattered, and I don't feel I've made a definitive point, but I just feel bad, and that something is wrong, and while I do hurt his feelings sometimes, I feel the reaction is 10xs worst then what I did. Is this abuse?

-- posted by Fantasia78