Abuse

» psykowifey - To All Of You

In response to To All Of You posted by stress30:

Hello, I'm new & found you after doing a search for verbal abuse

7-12 years ago my previous relationship was abusive in every way & I escaped & went into hiding with my 3 daughters, did a degree, MA, then started my career.

Then after 6 yrs of being celibate, my current husband swept me off my feet - it seemed too good to be true & I put him off for a year saying I never wanted to be with another man ever. He is indian, I am white. He has a large, close-knit family - I have a tiny separated family - none of my family know about what I'm going through, I'm to ashamed to tell them its happening again

All was fine for a few years, then his father died and I agreed to have a son with my husband. Our son is now 2 1/2 & it has all changed. My husband says I am a inadequate wife, mother, lover & I am a slag for having children with another man. I cannot keep the house clean to his 'standards', he also destroys photos from my past, monitors everything I do & now says the children deserve him, but I do not & he will never leave them but he will have nothing to do with me - he has even said he will get sex elsewhere

He says I need to make more effort with his family - his mother hates me & cries every time she sees me & refuses to accept my daughters, only sending b'day cards/presents to my son. My husband says this is my fault

My job is very stressful (teacher) and every night he keeps me up critising me, yelling that I can't cook indian food/keep the house immaculate etc & I go to work the next day exhausted & in tears.

We combined savings to buy our house & live in the best neighbourhood ever with the kids going to great schools - I never want to move & love our house - but feel trapped.

my daughters are seeing their mother crushed emotionally by the man they call daddy

My plan now is to shut my mouth, clean as hard as I can constantly, try to cook his food, be the best mother I can to my kids, then when they have all got degrees and careers & left home - divorce him and force the sale of the house, then just be there for my children/grandchildren to come

any better ideas?

-- posted by psykowifey