Abuse

» catbuck - family and friends don't believe how bizarre the abuse was

i have finally made the break from the narcissist i lived with for 8yrs 10mos. after researching the symptoms i was suffering from total deprivation of attention, affection, and sex...i finally was able to identify that i had been intentionally inflicted with several types of abuse. when i realized what type of harm had already taken place and that he has many traits of several personality disorders, i became aware that he was capable of much more severe and relentless damage.
i've been away from him for one month now, and have been so stunned about the mind blowing damage and sexual deviancy and psychological harm...and i'm realizing more every day that he is a very sick man, a teacher; he is allowed to be around teenage boys at school and has a job at a pizza place at night, where most of his co-workers are teen boys...
i'm positive that he is a latent homosexual and possibly a pediphile...i am 99% positive that he molested one of our pets...
now that i'm on the outside of the putred abuse...the pieces of the whole picture are fitting together...
it was so complex, intricate, and masterfully orchestrated that i'm dumbfounded about all the dishonest and immoral and sadistic and evil, etc. things that he worked so hard to keep secret about himself.
if i mention something to family or friends that sounds off the wall concerning the damage he's caused and is capable of...they act as though i'm being vicious and change the subject. they have no clue about the years of constant and relentless and damaging physical, emotional, financial, sexual, psychological abuse i've endured and how it has effected me...they don't believe that he was capable of such bizarre behavior because he had them all fooled. i guess it doesn't matter if anyone believes it, but i never received an apology one from him...i never received a hug or even the acknowledgement that he harmed me in any way...and now my family can't see the harm....i guess i am seeking comfort...big time comfort. a place where my heart feels safe and warm and cared about...a place i can let the tears fall until there are no more...a place i can grieve what was lost...
a beginning to healing...
i know it's hard to believe that this type of person exists and how much ambient abuse he was capable of and how absolutely devastating a relationship with a monster can be...
but i just want them to know that i am being truthful and how lucky i am to have made it out of that evil situation with my life.
anybody relate to this feeling?

-- posted by catbuck

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» ajmsoul - family and friends don't believe how bizarre the abuse was

In response to family and friends don't believe how bizarre the abuse was posted by catbuck:

Hi catbuck,

I am glad for you that you got yourself out of that situation. I am glad for you that you were able to believe what you were educating yourself about this person.

I can relate to having been abused and to people not wanting to hear what I had to say. In my case, it was my father. Everyone in the community thought I was crazy and that he was such an up-standing citizen.

When this happens, or for whatever other reasons others aren't giving you the support or validation that you need and/or have hoped for it is important that you not let that invalidate your truth or your experience.

The more abuse proliferates the more it seems that many want to deny it is happening. People often don't know what to say and it is even more difficult to know how to support someone when they talk about the abuse they have suffered.

I wish you all the best as you process and recover from the abuse you suffered.

You may find it more helpful, certainly more supportive and validating to talk to a counsellor about your situation.

Take care,
A.J.

-- posted by ajmsoul

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