Abuse

» frenchiegrll - husband makes me think I'm going crazy..

I'm new to all of this and latley everynight I've been praying, asking for help with my situation.

Well here go's.. I met my husband when I was 19 yrs old got engaged a month later then married a year after that.. Yes I know this was quick. Everything was good if you could call it that for about a year. We bought a house and in my mind it seems everything has gone down hill.. decisions are made by him only, he will take my input sometimes but in the end he does it his way. He expects me to call him whenever I go somewhere but then when I call him out on it. He tells me that he never said I had to call him. But then if I dont call he gives me attitude about it. He tells me to go out with my friends and get hobby's of my own and then when I do he tell's me that he dosnt like me going out with that person because he dosnt trust them. He makes comments about certain family members of mine, which really he can be right but they are still my family. He used to go out all the time and work on cars but now he comes home sits on the couch expects me to make him dinner then he falls asleep. We dont really talk anymore and the time we do talk it's about something I screwed up or about money. I work in the resteraunt bus. and he tells me that I need to find a real job and that I dont do anything around the house. When our sex life started going down the drain I asked him why he didnt want to have sex with me and he told me that fat dosnt turn him on. which really he has no right to talk at 260lbs. If I bring that comment up he tells me that I was pestering him and I knew what I had comming.
He has never hit me before but tends to get these outrages I've seen him throw a couple of things one time the dog ate the pocket out of his pants and he chucked the pants and they hit me in the face. He appologized for that. Most of the time he's yelling at the dog's or calling my cat a fat b****. I dont know. Most of the time our lives are silence I try to get him to go somewhere that I like (ie: hiking) and he comes up with an excuse, like he has to wash his truck. But then I'm expected to visit with his friends and family. After the five years we've been together he's never met my best friend of 12 years. When we talk I ask questions and his answers are always "what do you want me to say" and if he asks me a question and I answer he tells me that I'm wrong.

Can somebody please tell me if I'm losing my mind or if something is really wrong here?????

Thanks,
Danielle

-- posted by frenchiegrll

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» ajmsoul - husband makes me think I'm going crazy..

In response to husband makes me think I'm going crazy.. posted by frenchiegrll:

Hi Danielle,

I don't think you are losing your mind. It sounds as if you have lots of reasons to question what your relationship is really about. Your partner sounds somewhat controlling and throwing pants at you is not okay. His name-calling, even at or about animals is verbal abuse and may be designed to intimidate you. He sounds quite critical. From what you've described he devalues and disrepects you. These can be warning signs that more abuse or more extreme abuse than what you've seen so far may be coming.

You do not sound happy or fulfilled. I hope you will think about your experience and how you feel. You may benefit from talking things over with a councellor.

This relationship does not sound functional, mutual, or healthy.

Take care,
A.J. Mahari

-- posted by ajmsoul

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