Abuse

» ajmsoul - Did my boyfriend abuse me?

In response to Did my boyfriend abuse me? posted by flowersbythesea:

Hi Flowersbythesea,

What you describe your boyfriend doing interfering with your email and trying to control what you believe, your faith, and/or your participation in that faith with the newsletters you were receiving is controlling and abusive.

Making the kind of comments you describe about your weight is unkind and can be verbal abuse. His behaviour in front of others and the ways he grabbed your breast and lifted your skirt etc is sexual harrassment to sexual abuse.

His demeaning you is also abusive. His using his body to push you against the wall was physical abuse. His threatening to rape you controlling intimidation and emotionally abusive.

Putting music on louder so that he didn't have to hear what you had to say is rude to say the least, and again, demeaning.

Yes! What you describe was abusive. It is likely in your best interest not to see him again. You may want to seek professional help to find out why you feel jaded by someone who abused you and treated you so poorly so that you do not end up with a new boyfriend who will also be abusive to you.

Often women who have been abused go through a series of abusive relationships. It is not the woman's fault but there are sometimes things about those who get abused that they need to focus on healing within themselves so that they do not end up in future abusive relationships.

I hope that you will think about getting some councelling to process this and to look at any issues from your childhood that may put you at risk in future.

Take care,
A.J. Mahari

-- posted by ajmsoul