Abuse

» lewis41 - Manipulation in lesbian relationships

My lover doesn't know how to handle her ex-husband. He calls her all times of the night and play guilt games with her using the children as leveage. She then turns to me for support and understanding when she allows this type of thing to go on. She always threaten me with going on her own or leaving me because I'm getting tired of her issues. She know that I love her very much, but the same things alway happen with her when she speak with her husband about the children and I have to take the real verbal from her when she need to give it to her husband. She make me feel as if she's afraid to face him or stand up to him, but when it comes to me, she can say things that hurt, but I suppose to understand and be supportive.

-- posted by lewis41

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» ajmsoul - Manipulation in lesbian relationships

In response to Manipulation in lesbian relationships posted by lewis41:

Hi lewis41,

I'm a little confused. Do you feel that your lover's ex is manipulating her or that your lover is manipulation you (or both?)

It sounds as if your lover's ex is using inappropriate control around the children with another agenda and that would be both manipulating and abusive.

It would seem to me that if you lover isn't choosing to or able to set better boundaries with her ex that you may have to set some boundaries where this issues is concerned between you and your lover so that you two do not see divisive issues that could threten your relationship.

Have you asked your lover to think about getting some professional guidance as to what to do with this situation?

A.J.

-- posted by ajmsoul

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