Abuse

» ajmsoul - Nons abused by Borderlines - Do they mean it?

In response to Nons abused by Borderlines - Do they mean it? posted by freespirithealer:

Hi Free,

Yes, yelling, screaming, and raging at someone is verbal and/or emotional abuse.

It's difficult to assess who means what and when in these types of situations. I believe that a great deal of what is yelled and screamed in a borderline rage has to do with someone from the borderline's past that they are re-experiencing after being triggered by something in their relationship.

It may well be that she doesn't mean to ascribe what she rages about feeling at you to you. It may well be about the past. Or, there could be some overlap between what she experiences (or preceives as her experience with you) and what she experienced in the past with a parent.

The point is, however, that she needs to learn how to not be abusive when she is triggered. She needs to learn that acting that way is what drives people away from her and that she is hurting you very much with the words she hurls at you and by the very fact that she is yelling and screaming.

I hope that you can talk to her about this and provide her with some insight when she is calm.

A.J.

-- posted by ajmsoul