Abuse

Need Encouragement

  1. dmtaylor
  2. meto44

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1.   Dec 26, 2006 12:03 PM

» dmtaylor - Domestic Abuse


This is my second day of leaving my husband of 8 years, I have 3 children and am scared and not sure where I am going to go. I am happy that I am not living in denial anymore, but scared that I may not succeed with it. I don't want to be sad anymore, but it hurts alot.

-- posted by dmtaylor

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2.   Dec 30, 2006 8:21 PM

» meto44 - Domestic Abuse

In response to Domestic Abuse posted by dmtaylor:


Dear dmtaylor
I am so sorry to read about your pain. I can identify with you, because I am going through the same thing. Leaving an abuser, is very difficult, especially when children are involved.Thank God, there are no children involved in my situation. I am 62 yrs. old, and still, have problems, accepting that this person, is not somehow good. But, I realize he is most certainly not good for me. It is extremely toxic.I have slowly learned, that he is very narcissistic and selfish. His words of "I love you, and I never meant to" are now empty echoes in my heart,(I really wanted to believe that he did).But, they were without action. He talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk.. I was constantly, the enabeler, the fixer.I was filled with rage, but more than the rage, I was filled with sadness.Coming out of denial, does not lessen the pain or fear. It is a clear, stark reality,that we still, somehow, do not want to accept. Even when, is it so slapping us in the face. The fear of being alone and missing the good parts, hurt very much. I wish you all the best, on your road to recovery. We must accept, that it does not happen overnight, the grieving has to go through a process, the healing will take time. But, the most important thing to remember is, this is not my fault. Was I perfect, no. But, it is impossible to rationalyze or make sense of nonsense. Abusers cause nonsense things to happen, and the person being abused,gets so confused, because it makes no sense to us. That is part of the abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is as bad as physical, if not worse.
God bless,
Anne

-- posted by meto44

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