Abuse

» ajmsoul - I thought he was into me and cared...

In response to I thought he was into me and cared... posted by gemnjun:

Hi gemnjun,

Perhaps rather than wonder how he can do what he does, you would benefit from thinking more about what you need to do.

You do not sound happy about how you are being treated, quite understandably. Name-calling is verbal abuse. His dismissive and controlling style of relating to you is emotionally abusive. He sounds controlling.

There are warning signs there that you describe that indicate he may be more abusive in future.

Do you see that there is a pattern there?

Is his holding you tight about how he feels for you or is it about what he "needs"?

People can kiss others and hold them and then ignore them when watching tv and put down the way they do and say things because they are all about themselves.

You need to decide if you want more than to be treated, as you describe it, "like crap". No one deserves to be treated like crap.

I hope that you will take care of yourself. There are men out there who would not treat you like crap and who would treat you kindly and with respect.

I hope that you decide that is how you would rather be treated.

We cannot change others. We can only make changes in ourselves. If you don't want to be talked to and treated in the ways you are by this man and you set that boundary and he can't meet it, then perhaps you aren't with someone who is capable of actual love and intimacy?

Take care,
A.J.

-- posted by ajmsoul