Abuse

» iamback - Recognizing I was in verbally abusive relationship

Dear Frequency,

I'm not sure if you've had an opportunity to read all of the information I've already posted about my relationships. So I'll try to summarize as best I can some of the issues.

My first husband had an affair with a woman while my two step sons listened in the next room -- I'm not sure what part I could have played in that situation.

My second husband chose not to work for nearly 3 years and secured credit cards with ten thousand dollar credit limits, --which he charged to the balance limits. He avoided paying back taxes, from before we met-- to the outstanding balance of 30 thousand dollars, which I helped him pay back. He yelled and screamed whenever he was questioned about bounced checks and overdrafts fees, he cursed at me and even went so far as to curse and swear at God, Jesus and the devil. On several ocasssions he has cornered me and yelled and screamed several inches from my face. He has charged towards me and pressed his body against me while he yelled and screamed -- those are just a few accounts of what I mean about abuse and control. After experiencing this types of outburst, I tried to avoid saying or doing anything that would provoke him -- then he complained that I was acting like I was afraid of him -- I was too timid and that made him angry so he yelled some more. Again, I'm not sure what part I could have played in his decision to behave this way.

While you are correct when you state my husbands' accounts would perhaps be very different from my own, you might also be surprised to hear that both men have since apologized for their behavior and stated that they wish they could some how change their behavior towards me during our marriage(s). My second husband made a public apology in church as recently as this past weekend, stating that he realizes that he took advantage of my kindness and treated me cruely for no other reason than it made him feel better about himself and more in control. He shared with my step daughter that he is trying to work on himself and is trying to find out what makes him act as he does.

I hope this helps you with your ability to make your comments.

-- posted by iamback