Abuse

» lee45 - lesbian abuse

I hope someone can help me understand this situation. My ex girlfriend broke up with me after 2 years together. This was a very loving relationship. I treated her with respect and showed her real love for the first time in her life, according to her. The problem.. she was in two abousive relationships before she got with me. The first was 8 years of marriage in which she had two children. She left him and hooked up with this girl who verbally and mentally abused her for 20 years. This girl cheated on her several times also. My ex,
Bev and her broke up and a year later she met me. She said for the first time in her life she knew what really being in love felt like and what truly being loved back felt like and she was happier than she had ever been in her life. We had some financial problems that were being resolved and other issues(my jealousy over her ex) who is very manipulating. Anyway we split up, her ex moved away but is back her working and staying at her apartment. Bev says they are friends but I know better. She also told me that she had been confuse, that she had been very depressed since we broke up and didn't know if she made a mistake or not, but she couldn't second guess herself right now. So I don't know how to take that. She said she is not in love with me and wants to be friends. If I was over someone I would not be depressed and confused about whether I had made a mistake or not. I told her that made no sense to me, that she feels this way and yet has closed the door on ever being with me again, but yet still can see being back with her ex that abused, disrespected, and cheated on her repeatedly. She said none of it makes sense to her either. I am very hurt because I know we were so good for each other and could have worked together on the issues she had. They weren't something that you would end a loving relationship on. I would have never disrespected her or cheated on her. She said I was the best thing to ever happen to her. I just don't understand this. She said that her ex had changed. I laughed because I said to her "how many times has she told you she has changed"?
Even friends of ours that know her ex told me all the shit Bev was put through and how it was break up, go back, always that pattern and Bev always manipulated as I think she is being now, but she always makes excuses. Anybody out there got some advice for me? Bev and I are close in age, she is 48 and I am 50. Her ex is 7 years younger than her. We both have 2 kids and she has 2 grandchildren.
Her ex does not like her oldest child and they have had problems in that area for years. Bev told me in a letter about how she was abused most of her adult life and how she was called fat and stupid, how she was told what she should have said or done or handled a situation. But after we broke up and she was making excuses again, she said her relationship with her ex wasn't all bad. Well they never are, that is apart of the control, and there again her excuse for doing what she is doing now. I need some feedback. Thanks

-- posted by lee45

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