Abuse

» ajmsoul - Just now realized I may have been abused as a child

In response to Just now realized I may have been abused as a child posted by optimisticchange:

Hi optimisticchange,

As one who has been there the first thing I would say is trust yourself. Trust your instincts and trust your feelings. This is not always easy due to the very defense mechanisms you mentioned.

For sometime I was in blissful denial that I had a "wonderful childhood" when in actual fact I was physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually abused. We do what we have to do to survive these childhoods. We deny to protect ourselves.

The truth not only is intent on winning out but it really does set one free.

What you describe about your father being aggressive and hitting, I also experienced and it is abuse. It is not normal.

"Get over it" doesn't work. I think many people have tried that. It is important to be in therapy and work through the very real pain of this very real abuse.

Sometimes we have to leave or end, even family relationships (for a time or forever) in order to get well, recover, and be healthier ourselves. It sounds as if you have implemented a boundary with your family and angry emails in not responding. I hope that you continue to take care of yourself and know that you are courgeous.

It is easy to doubt what we really wish wasn't true. I've been there, my thoughts on this are that we can trust what we feel and that deep down inside when we stop protecting againt the pain of what we know to be true we can face that pain and we can recover.

My best to you,
A.J.

-- posted by ajmsoul