Abuse

» Frustratedfriend - How do I help a friend

My best friend called me a week ago to tell me that her husband is verbally abusive. I had suspected this based on comments she has made and I have heard him raise his voice on more than one occasion and snap at her for no reason at all. When she told me about the abuse she said she hadn't told anyone before, but that she is now ready to break the cycle. She said she needs to do it on her own, and I understand that. I told her I would support her and help her if she needs it. The next day they talked and he admitted that he had a problem, but that she pushes his buttons. She
is the one that is considering counseling, but he is not. I do think it would be good for her to go. The problem is that she is withdrawing and hiding now and I think maybe pushing me away. I feel frustrated and angry because I don't know how to help her. Do I back off or do I just try to keep things as normal as
possible between us? We do work together so I see her on the job. There are 3 children involved also. I feel like I need to say or do the right thing, but I
don't know what that is. I have been researching information about this. Do I give it to her since she has admitted the problem, or do I wait? Would offering her a place to stay be the right thing or the wrong thing to do since she wants to do this on her own? I've never really been in a situation like this before, and we've actually only been friends for about 8 months. There was one other time about 4 months ago when she withdrew and seemed to hide from the world (not answer her phone or return calls), and I think
that is when I started to suspect something.

-- posted by Frustratedfriend