Abuse

» magictouch - How do I help a friend

Hello,

Your friend is blessed to have you in her life.

I WAS in a verbal abusive relationship.Lucky enough, I had a dear friend just like you. I respect you for having gone the extra mile of doing research. Precious few friends these go that far!

It was only after getting out of my verbal abusive relationship that I realized the positive effect she had on me and how she contributed to my decision of getting out and running!

This is what she did for me:
1) Called me about 3 times a week, just to say Hi and see how I was doing and NEVER PROBED to hard about my relationship, she was very casual about, she would just cay ' How are things with him?'

2)She RAN to my rescue when I called. I did not see her for months as almost all my time was demanded by my x. She did express her disssapoinment of me not spending any time with her, but she understood.

3)When I did not return her phone call in day or a few days - she would just let it go and call me back the next day just to day hi.She NEVER got upset for me not returning her phone calls. I did not return her calls because I was depressed and I did not want to talk about how bad things were because I did not want her to loose respect for my x

Since you work with her, try to block out the fact that you know she is in a verbal abusive relationship, let it be at the back of your head, but when you see her or you're communicating with her TRY to talk about other things.

I know it's hard because you care about her and you want to be happy.BUT the best thing you can do for her is to just WAIT for her to come to you and make sure she knows that your arms are always open when she needs a friend. My friend could not help me, until I wanted her help.

:-) you take care of yourself too and try not to make her problem yours, that was my friend's smart more, she did not make my problem hers, and just WAITED for me to approach her and take responsiblity for my problem!

Hope this helps!:)

-- posted by magictouch