Abuse

» magictouch - Can Abuse be cured?

Hi Marinda20,

I understand almost everything you narrated here to me.I am so sorry all this had to happen to you.
I could relate to especially the bit about 'the thing' you told him in confidence. I also faced the same situation as I told him of an incident where I did do something that I was not very proud of in the past. He recently just sent me a nasty email about it and it broke me to bits.My ex threw it right back to me on my face because he feels powerless now that I have cut off all communication with him, he still wanted to have some power over me, so he tries to use email to break me.

My ex also text'd my mom and said nasty things about me to my mother, but thank GOD I was honest with my mom and told her everything before hand, so it did not come as a shock to her.

My ex also told me that I should give him some leniency because his condition is medically related too. When he said this, it did make think.So I read up more and wrote into this site asking for advice and I was thought how no matter what medical condition someone has, verbal abuse is not something that is acceptable.

I know that scared feeling, I still have it too sometimes when I got out alone, afraid if bumping into him.If your fear begins to control your movements, I suggest you try not to go out alone for a while, just so you feel better. If he does threaten you via email or text messages, with email or text messages as proof, I would suggest making a police report.Better safe than sorry!

My weight also dropped drastically and my face was so sunken when I with him.Yes, I also found it easier to just put the blame on me and just say things that would please him to stop the fighting.Yes, my ex was an absolute charmer with his friends, he was the life on a party, but just like you said behind closed doors, he was a nightmare!
You are right, I felt the way too, I could not talk to him, he just could not understand what I was feeling because all he was interested in was what he was feeling and what he wanted.

It was all about him.

We all have a past, and I sure know I did not use his past against him and I am sure you did not as well.

I am so pleased to know that you have the support of your sister and her boyfriend.

You will get better and stronger.You will be happy again and your old self will return in good time.:)

I take my hat off to you for taking this very hard step in your life.The next few months of recovery for you might be hard, but I can assure you it will be rewarding when you taste the sweetness of peace.

There might times when you might miss him alot, as we tend to get weak in flesh.He might come back begging and crying promising you the world with his undying confessions of love.My ex is still on my back, but I keep reminding myself of an article that I read by A.J Mahari that stated 'Verbal Abusers are not capable of love, they wear different masks just to get what they want'

You keep up this positive attitude and your commitment to finding happiness, happiness will be yours.

Slowly but surely, taking one day at a time, you will heal.You are the most important person in your life right now.

:)

magictouch

-- posted by magictouch