Abuse

» settler - will things ever get better!

A mistake was made and an even bigger one when you lied, but it sounds like he has gone way over board. I know my and my wifes relation ship looked like that for awhile. She spent years abusing and then had an affair. She said things were getting better even as the abuse continueing and appoligized and said to drop everything becasue it was not going to happen. I didn't let go until she finally really did stop and now things are smoother, but it did take me a month or so to finish burning out even after she had stopped most of the abuse. I can not say it is over do to her having just tried to break into my new e-mail account that i set up to seperate my e-mails from her.

It sounds like our relationship in the physical part as well. I am the male and outweigh her and have a foot more height, but that still didn't stop her from loosing control and hitting me. I do believe that if she was the bigger she would have continued. She stopped only because it was a battle she could not win, but she found other ways to attack.

At the best for your relationship, I would recomend getting out before he recovers any more. Stay away for at least six months of counciling (For both of you as batterer and battered) and to see if maybe there is an improvement. Then keep all contact in open places for awhile and then maybe try it again. Let abuse centers know, friends now, and CPS incase they need to be involved in the future.

Otherwise get out and don't look back.

I will say he had a jolt. A different culture why he was gone that excepts this behavior. That coppled with a major shock of your behavior, but none of that justifis all of this abuse ever. I have deeply regreted what all I did and have verbalized it and shown a genuen regret and gotten help. My wife has only half hearted ever done any of this and I don't trust her. She has very shortly said the words and then wanted everything dropped and never backed any of it up. If he can not verbalize it and talk about it and back it up by working on it, hard, then I wouldn't trust him at all.

Settlers

-- posted by settler