Abuse

» sweetnsourblt - What is wrong with my relationship?

What is wrong with my relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been together 11 years. When we met we had nothing. We have a 10 year old and a 10 month old together.
After 11 years we have an apartment that we pay rent for and furniture we bought. He is into music production and has expensive music equipment and a car. For 11 years he has had millions of plans and ideas of getting into a business venture (buying a tractor trailer)and work hard so we can have enough money to buy a house or at least get a down payment. We could never save money because as soon as we get ready to, his mother, has an emergency and tells him he is her last resort, his daughter (from a previous relationship) needs something, (even though he pays court ordered child support) he spends it on music equipment or on car repairs. After all this time I am tired of us always being broke. When he has money everyone seems to benefit and enjoy the money he gives or lends. I have to worry about whether the money being spent is the money we will need next week. I have no problem clipping coupons and looking for sales to save money but he seems so careless with it that it makes me feel that he doesn't love us. All I am here for is to listen to his worries, his 1001 dreams, his complaints, and to have sex, and then when he gets the money to do something about it, he blows it and blames it on everything but himself.
He recently came into some money. It was enough for a down payment on a house or a truck. Well, his mother got into a car accident (no injuries)but she needed money to repair her car because insurance was not enough ;She told him about some land she wanted to purchase to leave in his name when she dies,she needed money for that too. He promised his daughter a $300.00 cell phone, so he bought it . He bought a laptop for us and some computer memory chips. Gave me $200.00 for some driving lessons and bough some things for the baby. He paid some utility bills. His father passed away out of state so he had to fly ,. So all the money is gone. He had a job but walked out of it because I told him I did not think we should be together while we were on the phone, and waited until he spent his last dime to get a pizza delivery job. Am I crazy? Is it normal to be like him? Am I selfish? Is he too generous? Why is it that even though his mother has 6 (all adults now) he is always her savior, and everyone else's hero. Now he is depressed and irritable. We argue all the time. Now , he has fits and acts as if he is going to explode any time I am going to say anything about the money. At one point he said he felt like hitting me. I cannot say how I feel. I cannot save money because we need it or he needs it. I AM REALLY ANGRY! And depressed because I just don't know what to do? I KNOW I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!

-- posted by sweetnsourblt